Weddings by Church of the Green Wood

Preambles and Opening Words

 

Every wedding begins with a statement of purpose.  Choose one of the following or feel free to chamge, combine, or write your own words.  A candle may be lit in the space prior to the entry of the guests.  Some people choose to ring a bell to signify the beginning of a sacred space and time. Before the ceremony begins, I will ask guests to silence any phones or beepers so we don't have sudden additions to your wedding music.  The processional will begin.  Please read the following article for a discussion of the possiblities.

Good afternoon and welcome! We will begin shortly and I would like to ask those of you with cell phones and communication devices to please silence them now. 

1. We are gathered here today as a community of friends to witness the marriage of (Bride) and (Groom), and to ask God to bless them.  By our presence here we accept responsibility for helping (Bride) and (Groom) and encouraging them in the new relationship they are about to enter.  Marriage unites a man and woman in love and security.  We ask God's blessing on their marriage and family. 
   
2. We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes to the words with shall unite (Bride) and (Groom) in marriage.  Should there be anyone who has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, they must speak now or forever hold their peace. 
   
3. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, in the sight of God and the presence of these witnesses, to join together this man and woman in the mystical union of holy matrimony.  It is a state not to be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly, and in the presence of God.  Into this holy estate these two persons come now to be joined.  If anyone can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let them now speak, or else hereafter forever hold their peace.
   
4. Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the sight of God to join this man and this woman in marriage.  Let all who enter it know that marriage is a sacred and joyous covenant.  "For this reason," says our Lord, "a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder."  God has ordained the covenant of marriage that husband and wife should give each other companionship, help, and comfort, both in times of prosperity and adversity, that together they may form a family blessed with affection and a firm foundation.  Int this sacred covenant these two persons now desire to enter.  Let us therefore invoke the blessing of God on the union now formed.
   
5. Every marriage ceremony is unique, and today, not only are two special people being joined together, but two faiths, as well.  Out of two different and distinct traditions, (name) and (name) have come together to learn the best of what each has to offer, appreciating their differences, and confirming that love - which is spoken of in all religions - is our true home, our true meeting place.  So this is not only a joyous occasion, but a holy one as well.  May you see that your love for each other is truly a gift from God.  You were given (or found on your seat) bubbles as you entered.  Our bride and groom wish that you will bless them as they exit by blowing bubbles.  Contained within each breath shall be your best wishes and blessings which as you blow shall be released as rainbow encapsulated prayers that are lifted to the heavens.  Bring to mind all the things you would wish for them, for their future, and for their happiness.  When the bubbles burst, your petitions will be released. 
   

The Processional

By Pastor Marie April Gismondi

When it comes to the wedding ceremony, one of the most beautiful things about being a 21st century Bride is that there are no rules anymore. This is also one of the most confusing aspects of being a bride these days. Many couples don’t know where to begin so let’s begin at the beginning!

The Preamble

Padding the Edges of Your Ceremony

My ceremonies almost always begin with a preamble. As the title implies it comes before the entrances are made. It is used to call the guests to order with a friendly welcome and a request to turn off their cell phones. Not because we expect them to be rude, but because we know they are excited and happy to be there, seeing people they haven’t seen in ages, and eagerly awaiting the Bride’s entrance. It’s only natural that they forget being that we all wear our phones with as little thought as we give to a watch these days.

The preamble can also be used to explain anything in the ceremony that may be new to them. This is very helpful for Interfaith and Multicultural ceremonies, because understanding what’s going on allows your guests to participate emotionally and intellectually in the ceremony. It is also an opportunity to promote an understanding of the new culture or faith that is joining the family. This is often the same information that goes into a program.

If they will be asked to respond to any questions this is the place to let them know ahead of time rather than risk that awkward silence at the question of support.

If you have gone to the trouble of ordering rose petals, bubbles, wedding rice, or even Fruit Loops for that colorful touch to your exit pictures this is the place to cue them.

The last sentence of this should be shared with whom ever is doing the ceremony music as their cue to begin playing.

So the Preamble is delivered and the Music begins

The Groom

Although many Groom’s would rather not be in the spotlight and opt for just stepping up into place, with their parents already seated, the thing to remember about walking down the aisle is that it is a photo opportunity, and that those pictures will be priceless in 40 years.

With that said, the Groom can:

step into place alone

step into place with his Best Man

enter down the aisle alone

enter down the aisle with his best man

enter down the aisle with all of his attendants

enter down the aisle with his parents (one or both)

BTW Guys a clean handkerchief is a great thing to have in your pocket to wipe a tear from your beautiful bride’s eye with

The Grandparents

I am a big fan of just asking people what they want to do. In the case of Grandparents the question is are they well and active enough that walking down the aisle is something that they wouldn’t miss for the world... or would it be burdensome for them.

Sometimes the Groom steps up into place first but in any case the Grandparents usually lead the Family portion of the processional Bride’s side first and then the Groom’s side. Wonderful if they are in pairs! But they can be escorted by Ushers, or family members. Members of the Bridal party may circle back for double duty if the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen are entering in pairs

The Parents

You’d think this would be an easy one, right? Well that depends on your family structure. Couples today have the option of sending them down the aisle in pairs after the Grandparents, with the Groom’s Parents first as the Mother of the Bride is traditionally the last to be seated before the Bridal Party enters. The other option is the Bride and the Groom entering with both parents. It’s not only for the Jewish couples anymore! Any why should it be when it symbolizes the coming together of two families.

For families with a more common but less traditional structure

the entrances can also go:

Father of the Groom with or without partner

Mother of the Groom with or without partner

Father of the Bride if not escorting Bride with or without partner

Mother of the Bride with or without partner

Partners may but need not make a formal entrance if divorced parents are amenable to entering together or if it is the couples choice not to have them formally enter

Above order may be juggled to put a buffer where needed

The Best Man

The most frequent entrance for the Best Man is with the Groom. The original tradition of the Best Man goes back to the Goths, Visigoths, Vandals and other European tribes. Among these peoples it was customary to marry within ones own tribe or village, unless of course there was a shortage of women. Then you would have to go and kidnap one from the neighbors. The "Best Man" was the best of your friends with his weapons who would go to watch your back as you absconded with a Bride. At the wedding ceremony his job was not to hold the rings but to guard the perimeter incase the Bride’s family tried to kidnap her back before the marriage could take place. Sometimes he would even have to stand guard over the honeymoon cottage incase they tried to rescue her before the marriage could be consummated. With this in mind remember that today’s Best Man gets off pretty easy by comparison. But all that information does explain why the Best Man is supposed to be at the Groom’s side as much as is reasonably possible. So he can....

Step up with the Groom

Enter down the aisle with the Groom

Escort a Parent or Grandparent then join the Groom

In the case where the Groom is entering with both of his parents the Best Man follows and steps into place while the Groom is seating his parents and receiving their blessing.

So your Best Man is a Best Woman? You have two Best Men?

Fabulous! Same thing as above happens.

The Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

You have even numbers and you want them to enter in pairs? Lucky you! You’re almost done! Boys go to the far right - Girls go to the far left and the other couples take their places closer and closer to where the Bride and Groom will stand. (If doing Jewish sides - or if there is a reason that this is not the profile you want to give your guests then switch sides) Those of you whom this works for, you can just skip to the Maid of Honor, unless of course you’re curious as to what your other options are.

Uneven numbers.... Remember this effects the exits as well. Some couples have all the men enter together in a line or step up from the side in a line. "Groomsmen" the word comes from them being his guards so this works. It is also a great photo opp. if they all come in one at a time and shake the Groom’s hand in congratulations as they reach him. All the women can then enter either alone or in pairs in Medieval style where they would be coming from another kingdom or castle with their Lady. I have also had one of my Brides ask her girls to enter half way, where they were met by a Groomsman who then escorted them the rest of the way to the front. This allowed some of them to do double duty. They exited then three across. If you choose a three across entrance or exit it is important to communicate this with your hall so they make the aisle wide enough to do this comfortably.

Jr. Bridesmaids and Jr. Groomsmen

Letting them lead the adults or keeping them closer to the Bride are your options. No rules here so How do you envision it to be? What are the other factors? Will their placement make young children want to follow them? If so then before the Ring Bearer and Flower Girl might be wise.

The Maid of Honor / Matron of Honor

Traditionally she would go after the last Bridesmaid. If you have two send them alone or together. Some Brides without parents choose to enter with their Maid of Honor. Something that I should have said earlier as rule #1, something that is good to remember in every case, the phrase "What ever works for you." During the ceremony it is the Maid of honor’s role to keep the dress splayed, the veil back off the Bride’s face, to hold the Bride’s flowers and to make sure she doesn’t walk back down the aisle without them. Sometimes she will have the Groom’s wedding band. If there is a Maid and a Matron remember to divide the honors during the ceremony equally, some brides even have them switch positions. Asking one to stand closest to you and hold the flowers, then having the other switch places to give the wedding band means that nobody feels like just another bridesmaid.

Ring Bearers

Some like to lead with them before the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen, but traditionally children were seen as fertility symbols. This is why they were kept close to the Bride and would usually go after the Maid of Honor and before the Flower Girl. Age is a huge consideration so always place them how you think they will perform the best.

Flower Girls

Usually placed just before the Bride so that she is the only one to walk on the petals. When they are very young some put them before the Maid of Honor so that if they get.... stuck shall we say? She can swoop in and move things along. I love telling little girls that they are helping the bride to be like Snow White "with lips that shame the red, red rose, she’ll walk in springtime where ever she goes." Tiny tikes can also be pulled in wagons which is just too cute!

The Bride

Traditionally she would enter with her Father or if Jewish with both of her parents. Entering with both parents has become popular with couples of all cultures and faiths simply because they LOVE both of their parents and like the symbolism of two families joining.

The modern Bride walking alone works too, especially for those who wish to assert that they come of their own free will as an equal not to be given nor taken. Brothers, Stepfathers, Uncles, Best Friends and children all can be used of the representative of the Friends and Family of the Bride who wish her well and welcome the Groom into their circle.. Do your dad and stepfather get along? Why not have them escort you together? I even had a bride have her father walk her down the first half and then her stepfather the second half, so here you are again with the what ever works for you rule.

Bride and Groom entering together? Yes! If they have a baby Bride and Groom entering together with child can be wonderful as well. If it fits your life this makes a nice exit too.

The Hand Off

Just before the Bride reaches the altar they pause and she has a personal moment with her escort. If the veil is down it is now lifted, a kiss is given as the family’s blessing upon the union and then they turn and look at the Groom as his signal to come forward. Groom goes to the Father of the Bride first with a handshake, hug or kiss, and then to whom ever else is escorting the bride with same gesture of acceptance. Father of the Bride then joins the couple’s hands which is "giving away the hand of the Bride" The couple then step forward into their future.

All in Place!

Once in place the Bride will usually give the Maid of Honor her flowers. Thought we were done, didn’t you? Not so fast you have invited all the people whom you love most in the world to share this moment with you... Do you really want to give them your backs? You can face one another, stand with your officiant in a wide V shape or your officiant can go to your guests to address them and then return to place to address the Bride and Groom.

Well that’s how we begin! Unless of course you are adding a pet. If this is the case please refer back to rule #1 "What ever works!"